Ted Wright played the oboe in fifth grade. Although he ultimately gave up the class, he always thought he would continue with the oboe. However, in many years, he still hasn't done so, and that lets him make up many excuses to not do any housework.
He was bullied by someone named Marvin in high school. He smashed Ted's Thundercats lunchbox against a wall, and the event would remain forever seared into Ted's mind. He went to college, but soon moved out, as he said the dorm was "a cruel, hard place."
In his adulthood, Ted still lives with his parents, not being able to get a job. He claims why he will not get a job is because he needs to "complete his journey on self-discovery." He claims to have an online girlfriend, who he met on Plants vs Zombies, as he is a gamer. When Nate asked him where she lives, Ted gave the location of Fiji. Shortly afterwards, Ted showed his parents her profile picture to prove it. He told them that she was good looking, but his mother, Marge, realized it was simply a picture of Beyonce, a musical celebrity. Ted's parents knew that because Marge's husband, Vern, read a magazine called People in his Proctologist's waiting room.
Ted is overweight, and seems unconcerned about hygiene. He also has a very unicorn-like haircut, and he wears very messy clothes.
Personality and Traits
Ted is still living with his parents, not being able to get a job, or anything. Like School Picture Guy, he is not used to living out of his parents. He is irresponsible and lazy, and seems unconcerned about being clean.
He has been described by his father to be "buttstuck on our couch, playing World of Warcraft." He is a gamer, also excelling at Plants vs. Zombies and Halo. He is also a huge fan of Battlestar: Galactica, which his family always mistakens for Star Trek, annoying Ted.
He likes playing Monopoly, even though he always tires the other players out of boredom and cheats. He played with Nate, Francis, and Teddy on New Year's Eve, and the "government" gave him a ten-thousand dollar bailout and his "Board of Directors" gave him a few railroads.Obviously, the bailout and railroads were from himself. Francis resolves to never play Monopoly with Ted again after the game.