| The Faculty Lounge is a lounge in P.S. 38, across from the detention room. It is meant for teachers and staff to relax when they have a break or free period.
- Nate Wright is angry that the teachers have a room to "eat doughnuts and take catnaps", because his only alternative for peace and quiet is the Detention Room, according to one of his teachers.
- Nate went in there once to get a cup of coffee for Mr. Rosa and another cup for Mrs. Godfrey.
- Nate once saw Mrs. Godfrey performing a maneuver on Mr. Rosa to straighten out his back. Nate was traumatized by the incident.
- When Nate was getting coffee for Mr. Rosa he saw a candy vending machine. Nate was outraged by the hpcrosity because there aren't supposed to be anymore of those in the school.
- In the same story arc Nate found a soda machine.
- There is also a panini press.
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