Nate (Narration): I don’t want to brag or anything, but I happen to be the president of the greatest club ever invented.
Nate: Chad! Meeting today!
Chad: I’ll be there!
Nate (Narration): Our official name is the P.S. 38 Cartooning Club, but we call ourselves the Doodlers. We meet every Wednesday after school in the art studio, and we sit around drawing comics until the custodian kicks us out. It’s the best club in the whole school. By a MILE. Don’t believe me? Well, then, check out this lineup.
(Start of Comic)
Comic Title: Join these clubs... AT YOUR OWN RISK!
Knit Pickers - a group of girls (boys can join, but let’s get real) who like to knit sweaters.
Why It’s Lame: Aren’t there already enough butt-ugly sweaters in the world?
Comic Anonymous Girl: I made it myself!
Comic Nate: No kidding.
Wizards & Witches - for kids that are really into the whole “fantasy” thing.
Why It’s Lame: Wearing a bath towel around the school yard and pretending it’s a cape doesn’t mean you have magical powers.
Comic Anonymous boys: Magnificus Preposterus!
Comic Nate: Yikes.
Problem Solvers - a bunch of eggheads hanging out in the computer lab doing ridiculously hard math problems... FOR FUN!!
Why It’s Lame: Isn’t it obvious?
Comic Kid: I juhst adore calculush!
Comic Kid 2: Who doeshn’t?
Spotlight Club - for kids who are convinced they’re going to be huge recording stars.
Why It’s Lame: A. They’re constantly singing in public in the hopes of being “discovered.” B. They can’t sing.
Comic Girl: May I please have some riiiiice? Wo wo wooo...
School Beautification Society - just what it sounds like.
Why It’s Lame: Apparently “beautification” means painting cheesy murals in the second-floor boys’ bathroom.
Comic Nate: This is creeping me out.
(End of Comic)
Nate (Narration): See? Most of these so-called clubs look about as fun as an ingrown toenail. But the Doodlers rock. And we only started a few months ago. That’s when it all came together... thanks to a glob of peanut butter.
Nate (Narration): It was a typical social studies class. Mrs. Godfrey was blabbing about some dead guy who wasn’t a good enough president to get his picture on money...
Godfrey: blah blah blah Franklin Peirce blah blah blah...
Nate (Narration): Gina has already asked about nineteen completely useless questions in a row... ...and I was five seconds away from falling into a coma. Then Glenn Swenson walked by my desk on his way to the pencil sharpener...
(Nate sits up to attention, exited)
Nate (Narration): ... and suddenly things get a LOT more interesting! He had food on his face. That's nothing new. Glenn usually has enough crumbs on his face to feed a family of four. But this was different. He had a glob of peanut butter the size of a hubcap... ...on his forehead.
Nate (Narration): He had no clue it was there. And neither did anybody else. It was hilarious. But I couldn't just crack up unless I wanted She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named to go Full Godfrey on me. So I did what I always do when something funny happens:
(Nate rustles through his desk and pulls out his best drawing pen)
Nate (Narration) I drew a cartoon about it!
(Start of Comic)
Comic Title: Time for another edition of... Celebrity Interview